these moments that I've had.

Monday, June 30, 2003  

1907 - 2003

"I have no fear of death. . . . It's how you live that really counts."

posted by Darren | 9:32 PM

Sunday, June 29, 2003  

Whats happening with the Garden?!?

Further to the May 26th post, the fencing is complete and the gate is no longer isolated in the middle of the garden.

We have spent around £500 on gate, fencing, paving, plants and pots. We have done it all ourselves. We were going to have Steven-the-Shed-Man come round on Saturday morning to give us a quote for delivery and construction of a shed that caught our eye at the garden centre last week. We decided against it for the time being due to cost. And the fact he could only fit us in at 8.30am. We like our weekend lie-ins. Until at least 9.30am anyway. Having said that, Dave was pottering about(literally, planting in pots) shortly after 7.30am today.

We just saw a home/garden designer on a BBC2 show who we think Troubled Diva may 'know'.

posted by Darren | 1:25 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2003  

Graham Norton said the other night: "Day Two and, oh my god, Tim Henman is still in Wimbledon!"

He's been in 4 of the last 5 semi-finals, you Irish ponce.

On the other hand, not many people give a toss.

Norton has got better this series because he does about 5 minutes stand-up at the beginning of each show. Half of it is about Big Brother, so you need to be interested in that to ensure you 'get the joke'. And most of it is risqué, which is funny whatever the language.

And he's getting the BIG guests. kd lang and Tony Bennett the other night! Martin really WAS pleased about that, as kd is "the greatest voice in popular recorded music", or something.

posted by Darren | 7:30 PM

Tuesday, June 24, 2003  

"The adult mosquito population is not flying, but resting and staying out of the weather like any other adult with common sense. One of our concerns is that when the weather changes and we get some hot, dry days, they are really going to be out looking for blood."
- ROBERT KENT, a mosquito control expert in New Jersey.

New York City experiencing wettest June since records began - 10 inches.

Just as Wimbledon begins and London experiences one of the driest June's on record - 1 inch.

What we wouldn't give for 10 inches right now.

posted by Darren | 8:04 PM

Thursday, June 19, 2003  

This week I have mostly been playing with my new mobile phone.

posted by Darren | 8:33 PM

Monday, June 16, 2003  

"It's kind of contradictory for them.

You bomb them and three roads over you're fixing the school."

- US Army Reserves spokesperson, on the Iraqis.

posted by Darren | 7:40 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2003  

Absence Makes the Heart...

No posts since Tuesday. I put it down to the turmoil at work, at the sudden departure of a much-loved manager, and the disruption it has caused in all our minds and to my workload. Having said that, I never blog from work and never read blogs while there, so maybe I've just been a very lazy blogger.

Another scorcher of a week in Olde London Towne and a scorching weekend to go with it. Just purchased a new leash for Edward, after he chewed through his second on Thursday night. An extra-strength fibre leash, bought from Battersea Dogs Home when we bought him, was the first to go, when we were celebrating "Rob's 18 Years With HMV" in a Village pub a few Sunday's ago. The leather leash, that used to belong to Barry, was the next one to go on Thursday evening at Walthamstow Central Station's Gay Beer Garden. He wasn't as frustrated as he was at the beer garden in the Village and held out for over 90 minutes before nibbling through, discreetly, behind our backs.

Today we went the extra mile and now he risks a visit to the dentist if he persists in attempting to break free, because we have purchased a chain lead. The handle is still at risk as it is leather, so that will have to remain firmly gripped in our big paws and out of his little ones. We'd like to let him roam free, he's a very sociable chap and only really barks when he feels his home is under threat from intruders(including: postmen, delivery guys, Christians, Political Canvassers, the old guy who lives over the garden fence, you know), but he has no road-sense and would be off like a shot if he saw or sniffed something that took his fancy. We would be distraught.

So, today we await the cooling down of the garden with the lowering of the Sun in the sky, so that we can continue with making our garden more secure, so Edward can have the freedom of it all day instead of just when we are around. It was always the plan and the sooner the better, but Dave twisting his ankle, falling off his stillies a couple of weeks ago, delayed our plans.

I can't wait to get stuck in. Maybe a nap is called for first of all.


And.... BB4 News, though I warmed to her later in the week(or maybe it was just a cooling down towards Federico, because of his violently mysoginistic views), but it was always going to be (as the Daily Star put it) "Vinegar Tits is out! (and STILL moaning)" - Goodbye Sissy, the house will be a lot quieter without you. You were just too much of a lad for the other girls. Your boyfriend looks like a bit of alright though, so I'm sure you've had a great time since last night!

posted by Darren | 3:03 PM

Tuesday, June 10, 2003  

Everybody was being really crazy
And the monsters are crazy
There are monsters outside.

posted by Darren | 8:10 PM

Monday, June 09, 2003  

Tony Tony Tony

Hairspray wins 8 Tony Awards!

Including Harvey Fierstein and Marissa Jaret Winokor.

I'm not a big fan of theatre, its over-priced fodder for the middle-classes usually, but I mention Hairspray's triumph due to the fact that myself, Dave and Rob saw the show, our virgin Broadway show, last Fall, err, sorry, last Autumn, when in New York. And fantastic it was too.

Pity that Jackie Hoffman couldn't have been honoured too, as her rubber-faced mugging, in three different roles, brought the house down.

posted by Darren | 4:56 PM

Sunday, June 08, 2003  

"It is much easier to grow than the other crops. Look, we have put no fertilizer on it, and look how pretty it is."

- BLANCA RUBY PEREZ, a Colombian whose family grows heroin poppies.

posted by Darren | 10:38 AM

Friday, June 06, 2003  

A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor says, "It doesn't look good. You have only six months to live."

"Is there anything you can do, doc?" the man replies. "I want to live longer than six months!"

"No, but there is a lifestyle change you need to make. You need to leave London and move to the outskirts of Bradford. Buy a barren farm and raise pigs. Marry the fattest, ugliest, smelliest, most mean-tempered toothless Yorkshire-woman you can find."

The man asks "Will that cure me, doc?"

"No, but it'll be the longest six months you ever lived!"

I'm off work today, feeling drained of energy and with a sore throat. Poor me. Have perked up a little this afternoon, but that's what usually happens during the day when I'm ill.

I don't think I'm a very good patient. I'm sure my friends would agree. I think they'd say I was a miserable moany old git at the best of times.

Tell me again, why are they friends with me?

posted by Darren | 4:29 PM

Thursday, June 05, 2003  

"It's fuckin' shite, a load of fuckin' shite, we're just a bunch of guinea pigs".

- Ray, Big Brother 4 contestant.

Your point?

posted by Darren | 9:09 PM

Wednesday, June 04, 2003  

I subscribe to Miss Piggy's way of thinking.

"Never eat more than you can lift."

Works for me.

posted by Darren | 9:51 PM

Tuesday, June 03, 2003  

Magician injured in accident

Comedy magician Ali Bongo has been seriously injured in a road accident.

The Indian-born magician, real name William Wallace(no! NOT the Mel Gibson 'version'), and his passenger in the car were both hurt, but neither are thought to have life-threatening injuries.

Both were taken to hospital in Swindon, Wiltshire (god! I'm sure that was on my list of worst places to live the other week, somewhere outside the Top 10: "17. Swindon: Like waking up in a morgue every day of your life") .

Ali Bongo was a popular magician in the 1970s.

No, really.

posted by Darren | 7:51 PM

Sunday, June 01, 2003  


Can't stand the little bastards, but every now and then they say something that is vaguely amusing:


- "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." - Freddie, aged 6 (Very wise for his age).


- "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." - Derek, aged 8.


- "On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." - Martin, aged 9.


- "When they're rich." - Pam, aged 7.


- "I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out." - Theo, aged 8(and Gay already?).

- "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." - Anita, aged 9 (WHAT exactly is her point here?).


- "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." - Ricky, aged 10.

My personal favourite, that last one, and all of course interchangeable regardless of sexuality or gender.

posted by Darren | 3:19 PM